Konfession

"Every Day Is Exactly The Same" OR IS IT???? I REALLY DON'T KNOW ....

"I'm writing on a little piece of paper
I'm hoping someday you might find
Well I'll hide it behind something
They won't look behind
I'm still inside here
A little bit comes bleeding through
I wish this could have been any other way
But I just don't know, I don't know what else I can do"

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I know i have not been a decent person for a long time. Karma has struck me..i feel like shit but i have to put on a brave front to take the blame...i deserve all of it ... I tell you from the bottom of my heart, its my fault and its not yours. I never treat you the right way, never take good care of you and hence all these stuff happens...

I feel like a killer..i feel like a down right scum..why is all these happening to me? God, you , are you listening? Why wanna put me to test? Hurt me all you want and leave them alone..they are innocent..or..or...isit the devil that is at play...I say fuck you!

Faith..Grace...Selfishness..Ignorance..Rage..Anger...all i have deep within now is Misery.

Hmm...I know i shouldn't put the blame to anyone...put the blame on God and the one with Horns...thats so easy...thats escapism mentality....ok..i won't put the blame on others...because clearly i am the direct cause...I am not a believer of the fuck up theory: "Blaming others but yourself for what happen"...

WELL...RIGHT NOW I DON'T REALLY CARE...

ALL I KNOW .,,,ALL I KNOW IS THAT ...

I WILL TAKE GOOD CARE OF THINGS FROM NOW ON.

PLEASE TRUST ME ON THAT.