Lost Journals

DarK Water (29/6/2005 wed 3pm)
Drown me in your fear, these days it all seems so strange, i morph into this shit, am i a slave? Feel so empty and incomplete. Cleanse me motherfucker, erase me, reject me, rape me, abuse me, destroy me, love me, hate me, use me. I pray that you will be happy .Oh so hateful, beautiful, oh so sweet, oh so tasteless, oh so cute, oh so ugly, let it be...

Black+white = Gray (30/6/2005 thurs 3.30pm)
Fuse me in your life, fuse me away, right here today. You are the righteous one, alright. What the fuck are all these hate about?
I can never see black.white, can never fucking feel it. I hate to be gray, sitting hidding in my own place, won hell, own shell. Walk away, run away, slide away. Drugs? I never fucking care about you. Never need to see eye to eye with you. You are a star in you rwon rights. I fucking applaude it. Fuck me? Oh fuck me off my mind. Used to be sad, used to be kind, used to be good. WELL USED TO BE OH SO BLIND. Put me in your show, put me in your thrill. Fill me up, fill me down with your sorrow. Feel so numb, feel so dumb. Bleed on, dream on...are you a Black or are you a White, or are you just like me ...A FUCKING GREYWORM, THAT CANNOT NEVER TELL WHAT'S RIGHT OR WRONG...?

Rubberband(5/7/2005 tues 10.55am)
God damn it, i felt like a fucking rubberband. One moment of peace, another moment of shit. Sometimes i wished that i rather go away and shut my mind up. Self pity? Fuck you diary. Judging by the rate i am going, self destruction is awaiting. Do you care? Do you give a god damn. I don't really care man. Everything seems so misty these days, I need the lite. Kill you, abuse you, delete you, Shaking my legs, drinking my drink, am i a goner? laughing at you, smiling at you, i feel so empty right here with YOU. I say...FUCK YOU.
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