The "Accumulative Anger, Accumulative Fear"

3/25/07 : 11:56 PM

"gathering or growing by gradual increases"

Sometimes i ask myself, how much hate or fear can i breed? They are never ending, like fucking splinters stuck in my twisted weak brains. I, like many people, are victims of this shit.....

We know how things can happen in the morning that fucking spoil our mood and also spoil the rest of the day..At the start of the day, we are fucking accumulating our anger and our hate! Every fuck thing that comes in the way will just now seems right.

I often got this feeling, day by day, i can't help it. I am accumulating my hatred and anger every fuck moment, pretty soon, my CPU brain will be corrupted and overload and crash. Fuck but who is listening then? Who really understand the simple fuck in me? I tried to love everyone but its just not fucking worth it.

Its so suckie of not being in ConTROL, i want things to happen my way, but it often happens the other fuck ways. What is wrong with me? Or what is the fuck wrong with you? YOu , you are the situation i can't understand. You, your are the person i try to care and lend a helping hand. You, sometimes i wonder do YOU exist? Or are you really in my tiny head? Just a imagination in my head?

I fear so much of the uncertainty its killing me bit by bit.

Will you let me out?

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I never really post this shit..its been sleeping in my draft archive for more that a fucking year. Well, the hate is still here to stay, but its of a different kind now...

It's a more intense kind of hate in my head now.