#1 Crush.

Sometimes it's just so hard to really seat down and take a breathe...take a rest. My mind is working nonstop...i am feeling tired.
Making sure everything fall into places physically and mentally is so fucking draining. All these years I tried to strike a balance, a balance in my head..its so hard. Feelings changed, people changed, hatred changed...all fucking changed into the fucking downward spiral. What' so special about you? Tell me will you?

Today I learned that someone close...well not that close to me, is dying in a month's time. Motherfucking cancer. They say good people die early...well i think i will last a fucking lifetime...because deep down i am a no good...evil minded...twisted soul motherfucker prick.

I wanna fucking play music until my fingers and ears bleed...i love the pain...something which i can never get ever again.

I wanted to make life better for you people, but all you motherfuckers are just so narrow fucking minded...well like true old fireburn's style...I AINT GONNA FUCKING CARE ABOUT YOU FUCKING CBs anymore...KNNBPCB!!

I hate these diseases of hopelessness ...reject-ness, emptiness...

Can you ever make me happy like before?

#1 Crushed.........